Wittle Nightmawe

You are a baby in Diddy's mansion. You are slowly going insane and super crazy. In order to lower your insanity, you must collect Almond Water scattered around the mansion. 

But uh oh, there's a spooky chair monster chasing you around diddy's mansion. You must avoid this dude at all costs, and if he catches you, be sure to land in the red area rather than the green area (quick time event) to escape the chair monsters dreaded grasp.

But... holy crap. Literally. You need to crap. Every 2 minutes. During this state, all toilet locations are visible through the walls. Figure out which toilet to get to, and get there quick! Or else, diddy's mansion gets engulfed in crappy fart clouds and you fail. 

But don't forget about your beloved Horse Waffle in the kitchen. It's a horse shaped waffle sitting on the table. You must protect this the best you can because there is an Acorn-Eating hippo that just so happens to be in Diddy's mansion, and there just so happens to be an acorn right on top of your beloved Horse Waffle. This unfortunate circumstance requires that the player loads up the turret, convenientely located right to the side of the table which the Horse Waffle is located, with ammo. 

You must get this turret ammo by completing a minigame. The minigame involves waking Joe Biden up before he falls asleep during his very important meeting. If you successfully keep Joe awake, the US government acknowledges your heroic, and patriotic actions. As a result of that realization, they grant you ammunition for the turret to protect your beloved Horse Waffle.

But this still requires great anticipation for the dreaded potato jumpscare. Watch out and don't let it spook you too much. But also don't let it make you run into a wall, because it blocks your vision for a good couple of seconds.

Once the game timer reaches 6AM, you are awarded with the slipperiest banana peel of all time, ever, of all time, ever. With this newly acquired deadly peel, you must carefully, due to the fact that you only have one of these peels, place the peel down in a good spot. Once placed, lure the chair monster into the peel for him to slip, and then proceed to die. After that, you win. GG's, broski.

BUT OMG watch out for the NUCLEAR WAR that happens mid-game. It'll happen at 3AM, so don't get too freaked out when the world breaks out into a nuclear war while you're a baby in diddy's mansion avoiding the chair monster having to poop every 2 minutes while protecting the horse waffle by getting ammo for the turret by waking Joe Biden up during his very important meeting and anticipating the dreaded potato jumpscare allwhile placing down the slippery banana peel strategically in a masterfully-calculated location in order to lure the chair monster into said deadly trap and fucking kill himhahahhahaahahahahahhahahahahahhahwjhdjhwadjhwadjhadjawdjahwdawghdhwagdhawgdjhadgawhdgwahdgwauydgwauydgwayudwadw